Derek Hartley (spacuna) wrote,
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Gay Marriage

I am so annoyed by the desperation and political grandstanding of the upcoming Federal Marriage Amendment vote next week. Senator Wayne Allard of Colorado is a pandering douchebag if he thinks marriage in America is one iota safer because of this amendment. He of course is concerned that the rest of the country will fall to the same horrible fate as Massachusetts. The 7300 gay marriages performed there in the last three years have apparently scared the living crap out of him all the way up in the Rocky Mountain state. The irony of the amendment he is proposing is that by changing the law to declare marriage as only being between one man and one woman, they are implying that currently there is no constitutional definition of marriage in America (true) and therefore, there is no legal reason to deny it to anyone. Oops!

Naturally, if he really cared about saving marriage, he would realize that more people got DIVORCED in Massachusetts during the same time as got gay married. And Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the country. Good old God-fearing Texas has more than twice as many divorces per capita as Massachusetts, as does the rest of the Bible Belt, and more than twice as many pregnant teens. Now there's a record you could run proudly for President on. With 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, if Allard really wanted to save marriage, he would propose a constitutional amendment banning divorce. If the straight people love their marriage so much, they can keep them... permanently. No matter what. Til death does them part.

Here is how I see marriage in America today: it's like a beautiful, neglected neighborhood in desperate need of revitalization. No wonder the gays are attracted to the idea. They just want to come in and fix up the place and show you how it can be done right. The straights of course are outraged that the gays will show them up in another arena, as if we haven't already mopped the floor with them in Hollywood, the arts, literature, and most importantly, home decor!

Stop being such pussies and let the gays fix up marriage. It couldn't possibly be any worse off than it is right now.
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